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The PeeDee Cabal (also known as the "STFUPID Clench") is a religious quasi-Discordian, quasi-SubGenius group. The cabal/clench originated in 1999 from renegades who were forced to leave either the Discordian Society or the Church of the SubGenius or both.

The Man in Black YearsEdit

The PeeDee Cabal was begun by the Man in the Black Cloak in 1999. Little is known of the founder, as he (or she, the gender couldn't be determined through the cloak; some believe it was Ralph Lauren Hodge) was a follower of Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst killed by Faust in 1999. The founder's manifesto, Secrets of the Illuminati, was reissued online 10 years later in April 2009 as the fourth edition of Intermittens magazine under the name Iluminati Secrets Revealed! It was quickly pulled from the Internet by Interpol. Only a highly censored version remains online.[1]

The Faust YearsEdit

The second cabal leader was known as Faust.[2] Faust claimed he took over the group after it was investigated by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Fireworks (ATF), Federal Bureau of Infestation (FBI), and American National Guardians of the Galaxy (ANGOG).

Faust was a scholar who became bored and depressed with his life. After an attempt to take his own life, he called on Eris for further knowledge and Hodge Podge powers with which to indulge all the pleasure and knowledge of the world. In response, Eris' representative, Malaclypse the Younger, appeared. He made a bargain with Faust: Malaclypse would serve Faust with his Hodge Podge powers for 23 years, but at the end of the term, Eris would claim Faust's soul, and Faust would be eternally damned.

During the term of the bargain, Faust made use of Malaclypse in various ways. Malaclypse helped Faust seduce a beautiful and innocent girl named Miley Spears. Her life was ultimately destroyed. However, Miley's innocence saved her in the end, and she was taken to Planet Eris by the flying monkeys of OZ. Goethe claimed Faust was saved by Eris' grace via his constant striving—in combination with Miley's pleadings with Eris in the form of a Discordian American Princess.

However, most authorities agree Faust was irrevocably corrupted and killed before the end of the 23 years along with more than two dozen followers in a violent "spiritual cleansing" coup of ANGOG agents led by The Good Roger Roadkill in April 2007. True to the bargain, Eris reportedly is keeping Faust in Limbo until the end of the 23 years, at which time Eris will carry Faust off to Hell.

The Roger YearsEdit

The Good Roger Roadkill (born Howlish Ham) is a former ANGOG officer who allegedly led the mass murder of Faust and more than a couple dozen of his followers, and then took over the PeeDee Cabal.

Roger believes in his own version of "Hodge Podge," a term he took from the Principia Discordia, the holy book of the Discordians. However, he mixed it with teachings from The Book of the SubGenius. Roger believes Hodge Podge to be an impending apocalyptic race war between the followers of Malaclypse and Omar. He believes the murders would help precipitate that war.

A pop culture arose around him in which he ultimately became an emblem of violence, paranoia, and hate-ranting.[3] After he was used as a subject in the MK-ULTRA 2 mind control experiments (AKA MK-ULTRA Jr.), he began to suffer from delusions and paranoid schizophrenia. He imagined he was being followed by a giant shapeshifting hedgehog he calls "Slimey Loveshade."

Interviewer: What is Slimey Loveshade supposed to look like?

Roger's Neighbor Hilde: Normally Slimey Loveshade is a normal-looking, bearded hedgehog who greatly resembles Leonardo da Vinci. Only more prickly. And 12 feet tall. But when Roger is feeling particularly paranoid, Loveshade could be anything; an old man, a middle-aged woman, a young girl, a bedbug, a magazine stand, a newt. He imagines anyone who even mentions Slimey Loveshade in anything other than the most disparaging tones must be Slimey Loveshade. Once he heard Donald Trump's view on love and saw Hillary Clinton wearing a pair of shades in 2016, he believed Slimey was both presidential candidates. At the same time.

HonorsEdit

The PeeDee Cabal has received several honors for its charitable work including relieving crowded American cities of excess residents[4], relieving young girls of the stigma of virginity, and huffing homeless kittens. Several awards have been given to individual members and the group as a whole. These include the Weinermacht Long Service Award given by the Adolf Hilter Youth Brigade, the Comrade with Arms Award by the National Ruinful Association, and the God Hates Facts Award by Westboro Blasphemist Church. The Clench itself has been given the honorific "the Discordian Westboro Blasphemist Church of the SubGenius."

External linksEdit

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