"Chick" here refers to a female (it's slang for "woman") and "dick" refers to a male (it's slang for "fellow").
According to classical sources
Divine chicks he knocked up
- Aege (his nurse maid)--son Aegipan aka Pan
- Anake/Thetis (his great aunt)--three daughters/nieces, the Moirai (Fates): Atropos, Clotho, Lachesis,
- Aphrodite (his daughter)--daughter/granddaughter Tyche (father might have been Hermes)
- Demeter (his sister)--daughter/niece Persephone
- Dione (his wife, possibly also himself)--daughter Aphrodite
- Eos (his mistress, Selene's sister)--daughter Carae
- Eris (his daughter)--daughter/granddaughter Limos
- Euroynome (his wife)--daughters the Graces Aglaea, Euphrosyne, Thalia
- Gaia (his grandmother)--son/great grandson King Manes
- Hera (his sister and wife)--sons/nephews and daughters/nieces Ares, Eileithyia, Eris, Hebe, Hephaestus, Angelos
- Leto (his mistress)--son Apollo and daughter Artemis
- Maia (his mistress)--son Hermes
- Mnemosyne (his aunt)--daughters/nieces Aoide, Melete, Mneme (original three muses) and Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Erato, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, Urania (later nine muses)
- Nemesis (his cousin)--daughter Helen of Troy
- Persephone (his daughter)--daughter/granddaughter Melinoe and son/grandson Zagreus
- Selene (his mistress, Eos' sister)--daughters Ersa and Pandia, son Nemean lion
- Thalia (his granddaughter)--son/great-grandson Palici
- Themis (his aunt)--daughters/nieces Astraea, nymphs of Eridanos, Nemesis, Horae
Semi-Divine or mortal chicks he knocked up
- Aegina (goat nymph)
- Alcmene (wife of Amphitryon)
- Antiope (river god daughter and Zeus' rape victim)
- Anaxita (moth?)
- Asterope aka Oceanid (wife of Endymion?)
- Callisto (nymph changed to a bear)
- Calyce (wife and/or mother of Aethlius)
- Callirhoe (his niece)
- Carme (Cretan spirit, daughter of Cassiopeia)
- Cassiopeia (wife of King Phoenix)
- Chaldene (a nymph)
- Danaë (consort of Polydectes)
- Dia (wife of Ixion)
- Elara (princess, adulterous affair)
- Electra (wife of Corythus)
- Europa (Phoencian noble, raped by Zeus as a bull)
- Eurymedousa (ant queen, raped by Zeus as an ant)
- Euryodeia (immortal)
- Io (his wife sister Hera's priestess, a young cow)
Divine dicks
- Ganymede, divine youth from Troy
According to modern sources
- You know, back in the old days, I really had a way with the ladies. Back then, if I wanted to pick up a woman, all I had to do was approach her in my aspect as a bull or swan, and she'd be all mine, helpless to resist. The move was pure gold. It never failed—even on goddesses.
- But these modern women, that's a whole other story. For some reason, they just don't go for it at all.
- --Zeus quoted in Today's Women Don't Like It When You Come To Them As A Bull Or Swan
- Goldie Bear
- Binky the WonderSkull
- Bonnie (mother of Reverend Loveshade)
- The 1958-59 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
- "Connie" Dobbs
- Laurie Flynt
- Hummer Hefner
- Pope Hilde (Unified Catholic Church pope)
- Eldwin Nightowl's grandmother
- The Sacred Chao
- Gypsie Skripto (Discordian artist and interviewer)
- Miley Spears (Discordian American Princess)
- Black Widow
- Loveshade X aka JoX the Bobtist