Nigel's awful dildoes have broken the hearts of many a peasant.
The Dildoes of Bacon Edit
Oft mentioned in the same regard as the Iron Maiden of Nuremberg or the Rack of the White Tower, the Dildoes of Bacon hailed from one of the Inquisition's more terrifying periods. Mentioned only in scribbles at the back of the first edition Maleus Maleficarum, and often dismissed as a perverted scribes joke, the horrid truth is that these dildoes did exist.
Excerpt as such:
“At such time that the nobility of ::obscured:: province began to accuse each other of heresy and witchcraft for their own profit, an Inquisitor was dispatched to discover the truth of the matter.
A suspect was brought before the court and asked to confess their heretical belief and practice. When refusing, they would be foretold that they would suffer torture to extract the truth, and the dildoes would be shown unto them. At the merest sight of these implements both the stoic and the frail, be they woman or man, confessed, preferring flames at the stake to torment upon the dildoes. This is moft fortunate, for in such time as elapsed since their last employment, that no agent of the inquisition knew how for to use them in the extraction of truth.
So terrible were they to the very mind of the sufpect, that even a doughty old gentle, renowned for deed on the field of war and at the hunt, believed to be hearty and tough in every way, did faint dead away at their sight. He was revived with a draught of strong vinegar,and promptly made his confession. He met death at the stake gladly, for the sight had caused him develop a moft horrible prolapfe of the bowelf.
It should be recorded that in dimension, thee Dildoes were a score and three ::unit of measure obscured: in length, and five ::unit ofmeasure obscured:: about the circumference. May Lord God have mercy upon they who created and knew them!”
- Diagram obscured by varicoloredstain::